Abuse of ice-cream

i just ate half a litre of rasberry ripple.  it wasnt my fault.  Rosemarys Baby is a tense film.  it doesn't matter how many times one has watched it!  My lips are numb and i am understanding why bowls were invented.  Portion control!

Trudging through tar

I am wondering if anything in my life is worth recording...

Its been a busy week.  In bed at 8pm three nights running. Up at 5am three morning in a row.   I suffered severe agraphobia for two years.  For the first year i didnt leave my bedroom.  i stayed in one room for a whole year.  It took effort to branch out into other rooms.  It is still an effort but i try to do it everyday.  Some days it is too difficult.  I dont beat myself up.  I just accept it for that day, and try harder the next.
  Going outside is such a trial.  i am doing it, but its not enjoyable.  Being outside, talking and interacting with people and the world, zaps my energy.  But little bits of me are definitely out there. 
  The rewards are massive.  Im meeting people.  Making friends (slowly).  Life is not as lonely as it has been.
 But sweet jesus im tired out.
Talk more tommorow.
i will tell you about the events that led to my sudden dissapearance from the world..
Not many people missed me!

Another sleepless night spent cruising ebay while half watching freaky crime tv.  Im tired now...  People ask how i can sleep after watching CSI, Criminal Minds etc.  I can watch one after the other, the three paranormal activity films and sleep like a baby.  Yet the fact i have to drive into town tommorow will keep me awake all night.  Crime and horror, however random and freaky, holds none of the terror that my real life does.  Aint that the truth! 

Real life makes me ill, literally.  When i was little i wouldnt get out of bed in the morning before checking my fortune fish.  It didnt matter that the fortune fish only told me if i was cold, passionate, in love, jealous etc, it was all i had and you work with what you have.  I still have a fortune fish.  i dont check it every morning so i guess thats progress lol. But if i sleep with someone i have to check them out with the fortune fish.  im not even joking here.  But its okay because im a good lay and can be super sexy when i put my mind to it.  The downside is that my poor mind is a little mental so i am forgiven my weird habits.  They only become weird when the sex is over.

 But seriously, getting out of bed is a dangerous business in this dangerous world.  i have sprained a wrist and suffered a concussion (two different occassions) just trying to complete this daily task.

oh well, a legal cup of tea, two illegal prescription (someone elses) painkillers, and off to sleep for an hour.  

Something about me

i cant write what i want on facebook.  So this is my blog.  i will write what i want, share what i want.  Good or bad, crap or fabulous.  Like it or loathe it, i really dont care. 
Such as it is...this is my life.


if you stick around you will be subjected to my bad guitar playing, some drivelling poetry, photos of my dog, and cats that mean nothing to anyone except me!


i might talk about my various drug addictions, sex, bad relationships - men and women! The people i meet as i struggle back to a life resembling normality.  Dont worry im not totally depressing.  I can be quite hilarious in my own way.  Sometimes without meaning to lol


i am going to be completely honest as my family are barred from seeing this blog.  They are not barred because im embarrassed or because they will inhibit my content.  They are barred because, for the first time in my life,  i want to be fucking FREE.


Follow me... and share with me.


Lets go.